Instinct and 1st chakra wounding
Instinct
I wrote the poem Instinct after doing a series of journalling excersizes exploring my 1st chakra issues.
I used Dr. Christine Northrupt's book, "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom", as a guide.
Among many topics, Dr. Christine Northrup speaks about healing chakra wounds. She helped me identify which of my chakra's were out of whack by taking stock of my emotional and physical issues. The book makes it very easy because of the lists and diagrams provided, cross referencing symptoms and their chakra origins.
I began to work on chakra number one, ( aka the root chakra) .
Carolyn Myss calls this the tribal chakra, and is quoted in WB,WW as stating:
Dr. Northrup lists 3 main stages for healing a chakra wound:
1. Witnessing - this is very important***
"Lower chakra wounds don't heal until they are witnessed, along with a woman's own acknowledgement of her wounding and her need for healing.
see my poem "There She Was", on the subject of witnessing.
2. The Naming Stage
"The woman must then investigate how those wounds affected her life->->->-> This dissolves denial! Instinct was a product of naming my 1st chakra wounds.
3. Final Stage-Realease
Release the power of the wound to control her life, forgiveness is now required, for herself and others. Work in progress
My #1 Chakra Wounds:
Saftey/Security: it is hard for me to feel safe in the world as a brown-skinned woman, just look around if you wonder why.
Knowing when to trust: see above
Dependance vs. independance: feeling unable to affect my own future or control my circumstances or environment. At the mercy of others.
Early messages from my tribe regarding my skin:
Here was a really, really long list of racial slurs and attacks, one of which ended up as the poem Instinct.
I'm able to wrap it all up with these few words:
yucky words stuck in my root chakra:
ABOMINATION, ILLIGITIMATE, NIGGER, WHORE. EXTERMINATE, GARBAGE
What I've learned through the examination of these memories, and residual feelings is that my anger at being treated as some kind of second class citizen by my native countrymen and women, and painfully, by my very own family is well earned
These hurts and slurs and full out attacks have not been misunderstandings as some well meaning friends may suggest. To suggest so enforces deniability, and deniability affords apathy and apathy affords non-action, and non-action affords oppressive attitudes to flourish unchecked.
To the old cliche; "Bad things happen when good people stand by and do nothing." I would like to add, "Worse things happen when good people not only do nothing, but stand around convincing others it isn't their place to do anything either."
This poem commemorates the day I realised that I had the power to defend my own borders, (my personal boundaries) and that there was no one else I could rely on to keep me safe, not even my big brother.
In absence of external hero's, I listend to the little voice in my heart, the one that 'roused me from my drugged out stupor' just in time to see a looming figure over my bed. I had to rely solely on instinct and action to survive that experience, and survive I did, thanks to no one and nobody, but me, and that little heart sent voice.
Instinct, Intuition, Adrenaline, Endorphines, these four things are related, and these four things are incorporated into the human machine, it is no mystery, no e.s.p., its the genetic blueprint for survival that has kept us intact (so far) as a sentient race, and has elevated us (so far) to the top of the food chain.
I believe the human mind is naturally wired for survival, and relatedly so, is also wired for healing. Look at the way skin closes over a wound and naturaly knits together. Did you know your skin developed in utero at the same time as your brain? Before anything else, your brain, and skin came into being, together and are made of the very same stuff.
Every part of our biological /spiritual/mental componants reflect the same tendancy as our elasticised skin.
Each piece of us contains DNA, our genetic blueprint, each "piece" of us contains an image of the "whole" of us, and encoded in every part of us (I feel) is a longing to be complete.
This is why abstract states such as Instinct, Intuition, Fright, Flight, Love, Disgust are paramount to our well being. They are the internal urges rising from within the center of our being, prodding us onward through the journey of our life.
These are the things that, if listend to deeply, intently can lead us up and out of the most perilous situations, into the bright sunshine of freedom and hope.
This is why, it is so important for me, and others like me, who have experienced a disconnect between heart, mind and body to learn how to reconnect those parts, in order to support their spirits, the center from which all else of them, hangs and flows into the world.
For me, I have discovered my OWN creative drives and compulsions are the key to unlocking these internal wise messengers such as "Instinct" explores.
I wrote the poem Instinct after doing a series of journalling excersizes exploring my 1st chakra issues.
I used Dr. Christine Northrupt's book, "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom", as a guide.
Among many topics, Dr. Christine Northrup speaks about healing chakra wounds. She helped me identify which of my chakra's were out of whack by taking stock of my emotional and physical issues. The book makes it very easy because of the lists and diagrams provided, cross referencing symptoms and their chakra origins.
I began to work on chakra number one, ( aka the root chakra) .
Carolyn Myss calls this the tribal chakra, and is quoted in WB,WW as stating:
"Tribel consciousness is not a high level, highly evolved consciousness.I picture the tribal chakra as a bucket of crabs. As one tribe member attempts to pull out to freedom, the rest frantically pull him back in with their big red claws. Odd phenomenon. Ever hear K-os's "Crabbuckit?" The chorus illustrates this image beautifully.
Yet we all share it to some degree.
It is primarily a collective brain that seeks to hold onto its own and fight for its own survival in the world.
The tribal mind is concerned with loyalty, not love, kindness, or tenderness."
Chorus:
No time to get down 'cause I'm moving up
No time to get down 'cause I'm moving up
No time to get down 'cause I'm moving up, ah-ahhhh
Take out the crabs in the bucket
(repeat)
I find humming this little ditty makes it impossible to sit around. It gets into my head, travels down my spine, makes the tips of my fingers twitch, and my legs kick. Next thing I know, I'm moving. Even if I'm just doing the dishes, or washing the floor, I feel like I'm getting through, getting done, moving up, getting on, and those are the very things I want to feel more of.
1. Witnessing - this is very important***
"Lower chakra wounds don't heal until they are witnessed, along with a woman's own acknowledgement of her wounding and her need for healing.
see my poem "There She Was", on the subject of witnessing.
2. The Naming Stage
"The woman must then investigate how those wounds affected her life->->->-> This dissolves denial! Instinct was a product of naming my 1st chakra wounds.
3. Final Stage-Realease
Release the power of the wound to control her life, forgiveness is now required, for herself and others. Work in progress
This is whatI wrote in my 3d journal last year about my1st chakra wounding in response to the excercises examined in the book by Dr. Christine Northrupt.
My #1 Chakra Wounds:
- Saftey in the world, personal security
- Knowing when to / not to trust
- Dependance vs. independance
Saftey/Security: it is hard for me to feel safe in the world as a brown-skinned woman, just look around if you wonder why.
Knowing when to trust: see above
Dependance vs. independance: feeling unable to affect my own future or control my circumstances or environment. At the mercy of others.
Early messages from my tribe regarding my skin:
Here was a really, really long list of racial slurs and attacks, one of which ended up as the poem Instinct.
I'm able to wrap it all up with these few words:
Growing up, I was often shocked at how cruel adults could be. Well, to be fair how cruel white adults could be, the whiter and more religous, the meaner. I felt rather than an individual human being, in their eyes I was simply the object of fear and hate, and therefore the magnet of theirs.
yucky words stuck in my root chakra:
ABOMINATION, ILLIGITIMATE, NIGGER, WHORE. EXTERMINATE, GARBAGE
What I've learned through the examination of these memories, and residual feelings is that my anger at being treated as some kind of second class citizen by my native countrymen and women, and painfully, by my very own family is well earned
These hurts and slurs and full out attacks have not been misunderstandings as some well meaning friends may suggest. To suggest so enforces deniability, and deniability affords apathy and apathy affords non-action, and non-action affords oppressive attitudes to flourish unchecked.
To the old cliche; "Bad things happen when good people stand by and do nothing." I would like to add, "Worse things happen when good people not only do nothing, but stand around convincing others it isn't their place to do anything either."
This poem commemorates the day I realised that I had the power to defend my own borders, (my personal boundaries) and that there was no one else I could rely on to keep me safe, not even my big brother.
In absence of external hero's, I listend to the little voice in my heart, the one that 'roused me from my drugged out stupor' just in time to see a looming figure over my bed. I had to rely solely on instinct and action to survive that experience, and survive I did, thanks to no one and nobody, but me, and that little heart sent voice.
Instinct, Intuition, Adrenaline, Endorphines, these four things are related, and these four things are incorporated into the human machine, it is no mystery, no e.s.p., its the genetic blueprint for survival that has kept us intact (so far) as a sentient race, and has elevated us (so far) to the top of the food chain.
I believe the human mind is naturally wired for survival, and relatedly so, is also wired for healing. Look at the way skin closes over a wound and naturaly knits together. Did you know your skin developed in utero at the same time as your brain? Before anything else, your brain, and skin came into being, together and are made of the very same stuff.
Every part of our biological /spiritual/mental componants reflect the same tendancy as our elasticised skin.
Each piece of us contains DNA, our genetic blueprint, each "piece" of us contains an image of the "whole" of us, and encoded in every part of us (I feel) is a longing to be complete.
This is why abstract states such as Instinct, Intuition, Fright, Flight, Love, Disgust are paramount to our well being. They are the internal urges rising from within the center of our being, prodding us onward through the journey of our life.
These are the things that, if listend to deeply, intently can lead us up and out of the most perilous situations, into the bright sunshine of freedom and hope.
This is why, it is so important for me, and others like me, who have experienced a disconnect between heart, mind and body to learn how to reconnect those parts, in order to support their spirits, the center from which all else of them, hangs and flows into the world.
For me, I have discovered my OWN creative drives and compulsions are the key to unlocking these internal wise messengers such as "Instinct" explores.
posted by cocobannan at 10:07 AM
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