There She Was (in colour)

click here to see the original sketch

This poem was another product of Free Flow. The subject is the process of self discovery, the down and dirty work of peeling back the layers of skin to expose the proverbial hidden skeleton.
The bones of this poem is the need for a certain component necesary to initiate the process of healing, a witness. In my case, my spouse has been my steadfast, faithful companion, my loving witness, as symbolised by the crowned frog in my illustraion, yes, yes, yes, Prince charming and all that.

It seems that until I was able to feel safe and secure in my life, in my home, in my skin, I was unable to delve into the murking depths of self for fear I sopose, of getting lost. My spouse has acted like a rock during the storms of memory, tying me to the present, lest I get lost in my past. By simply witnessing my pain, my truth, my struggle for integration, he makes it real. Real, you see, not a long ago night mare that happend to some one else, but really real. Once This magical shift of consciousness happend, my disillusionment began in earnest. That disrobing of rationalisations, excuses, and platitudes left no room for self delusion, letting the truth shine forth in all its brightness. And with the truth staring me in the face, I knew, finally, the time has come to act. Poetry, journalling, excercise, yoga, painting, drawing, all these things sprinkled with therapy here and where I can get it, has made a real difference to me, and my life. I've only just begun, as the song would have it, but at least, at last, my journey to healing has begun.