Acceptance

mabeyI should just accept I will forever alternate
between the light and the dark
between consciousness and unconsciousness
between black and white
day and night
but I am a stubburn old goat and I still carry the hope I might one day rise straight up
above it all
into a state of twilight
where GLOW is everywhere
no blackness
no whiteness
to a place where extreme duality is nonexistant
where harmony rules all ways and all times
a place where light dosn't flee dark
and dark doesn't chase light
but instead exists
simultaneously balanced
~

The latest in a revolving series of layouts and designs for this composition.

***Updated the hawk, but still having issues with colour. Am considering leaving it black and white.

Marker Rendition

I've decided to work on yet another version inspired by some really cool battle scenes between Animora and Giselle out of Mystic, from CrossGen Comics.

Girl in the Mirror- Detail Studies

Another working composition.

I love this one. It's simple on the surface and sweet all around, in my eyes.






This piece chronicles an actual encounter between my child self and my adult self. It was a spontaneous and tender moment, I saw myself as I had been (a child) peering through the mirror at me, as I am today. I can remember the moment from both perspectives, as a child peering into the looking glass dreaming about my future self, and me the future self barely able to trust my own eyes, or believe it possible that a wish made so long ago would or could cross oceans of time and thousands of miles of space to find me at the right time, at the right place to come true.

Click here: to read a short chapter from my other project in the works, a fictional autobiography called the Chronicles of Binah, a modern coming of age storyof an emerging majician.

Mirror Sketch: 1, pencil and ink



Close Up:1

Strange Fruition

"Unforgetable" @Allpoetry.com

The second in my series of memory reclamation , and the acquisition of self knowledge.

I was experimenting with the theme of Fecundity, as relating to the growth cycle of "fruit", in art and life.

In order for growth, there needs to be death. As humus of the forest is on one hand, a thick layer of rot and decay, it is also the very primordial muck from which new life emerges.

"In order for the past to become History, we first need to stop living it."

Suffering from PTSD is akin to enduring a prison sentence of reliving traumatic events. The images and words associated with my scrapbook is an excersize in getting out what is held within my own self so I can finally lay it to rest, and hopefully become in a sense, reborn as my truer self.

There She Was

Click the sketch to read "There She Was", A poem inspired by the support given me by my spouse, my sweet prince (note the crowned frog?) as I uncover layers of hidden memories and harvest the life giving truths found within.

Smoking Death -detail studies

The following are snapshots of a work in progress.

It will be an illustration for a poem of mine called Corpse.

Corpse is an exploration of a type of vampirism that occurs within certain relationships. It embodies the anger and loathing of a woman recognising the parasitic nature of a failed and abusive relationship, and the realization that she continues the pattern of abuse in her present through her own self destructive habits.

Once she see's this, she see's the truth of the situation, and understands that she has become the personification of her own death wish. She had always been in control, even when giving it away, or losing it. She was responsible for picking and choosing her poisons to die by, smokable, eatable, or fuckable, she chose each just like she would another cigarette from the pack.

There's no happy ending written for this poem, only victory in the confrontation of ugly truth.

Oops, unless you are signed up with Allpoetry.com, you'll encounter an error page when trying to view the poem Corpse so I'll post it below.
Be Ware! It is is full of angst, and adult themes.

Corpse

I was sitting here thinking
about sex and death
'round about time your name popped up
for surely I was dead
a corpse (for you)

I was sitting here
smoking
looking for my death
laughing living dead
shades (of you)

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Generally I start out with a series of sketches, sometimes many on one page. I salvage what works and will either re draw the image where I want it in the final composition, or I may cut and tape the pieces into a collage as is the case with this piece.

It isn't complete yet, when it is I will post the final result.

Detail of Hand. Pencil, pen and marker.

Symbolism: self destruction through the (twisted) act of self comfort through the ingestion of poisons.

Study of smoke, the carrion bird of death emerges from the smoke and ashes of the cigerette.


A fuller view of Elsebet, the vampiric character of the poem and illustration "Corpse".

The imagery was inspired by the Femme Fatale stereo type, I drew heavily from the early 20th century portrayals of the "Vamp" or dangerous woman archtype, relying on memory and photo references of Theda Bara, the first Vamp of hollywood embodying the feral woman of the 20th century.



A sketch of Theda Bara's publicity still, ca 1916-1917




A study of Elsebet in colour marker.

There is a lot of Lillith in Elsebet, something I'd like to explore further at a (sooner rather than) later date.


A study of Elsebet in photoshop.